"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."

But alas, I am a mere mortal and can only write as is befitting to my station: not very mysteriously, in other words.

Would you guys like to hear a story? I think you'd like to hear a story. Let me tell you about the elevators at work: they suck. There are two elevators in the lobby of the library, and these are the elevators most people use. Because our patrons are comprised of a very varied people, it's a bit of a gamble every time you step into one of those lifts: will it be full of eye-tearingly strong cologne? The stench of a body that has not seen soap in at least three months? The scent of a diaper long past ripe? None of the options are pleasant, and that elevator quickly turns into a heated metal box of pure hell when one of the mentioned situations occurs. Conversely, when my coworkers or I step into the elevator with a patron and they smell pleasant? You'd think we're in the presence of the President - it's amazing how good hygiene is taken for granted.

Anyway. Shit, I get off topic easily. Okay, so the elevators = gross. Well, one of them just acquired a whole new level of disgusting: a patron urinated in it. Can I repeat that for you? Someone fucking peed in the lift, man! And not just on the floor, but all over the effing buttons as well! How motherfucking disgusting, yeah? Even more disgusting is the fact that the urine sweltered in that elevator for God knows how long until two of my coworkers walked in, pressed the (urine covered) button while simultaneously realizing what was covering the floor and walls, and ran for 1.) alcohol wipes, and 2.) the janitor. Also, please take note of the fact that whoever pissed in our elevator was tall enough to hit the buttons.

Yeah, so that's my job. I feel like every time I'm exposed to 1.) bodily fluids that did not come from myself, 2.) communicable diseases, or 3.) likely rapists (3 today), I should get a bonus.

In other news, my headache has abated! The rain has also ceased, thank goodness. If the light socket in my room didn't fail so hard and insist on blowing a light bulb every day, things would be good. As it now stands, I'm out of new bulbs and have to watch TV in the dark. :(

Oh, well. New Supernatural tonight! :D

"It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain,"

"But, having fallen, it was blood." - Edgar Allan Poe, "Silence - A Fable"

Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow USians. I hope you're all absolutely stuffed on turkey and other various goodies, and perhaps even pleasantly sleepy. I woke up with a touch of some nasty virus this morning, so I spent the day in my room rather than at my Grandmother's with the rest of my family. I'd say I'm terribly disappointed, but I tend to prefer my own company even on the best of days. I did, however, miss out on seeing my adorable cousins - little girls, aged 3 and 1 - and I am a bit sad about that.

In other news, this little corner of Slenderblogs seems to be in an upheaval. I rather like "Redlight", as he's been dubbed - he seems like a no nonsense sort of fellow. I hope everyone is safe from said fellow, however, and that no more blog hijacks occur. Stay safe, loves.

I will, of course, continue blogging. I mean, why wouldn't I, right? I talk about wholly inconsequential things: spiders, music, Spanish class. I trust this will be a satisfactory decision.

It's still raining, btw. It's been gloomy and overcast since Monday, and I am still not amused. The library will be full of dubious characters tomorrow if the sun doesn't shine. Ugh.

Home remedies for headaches, anyone? The rain wrecks havoc with my mood. =/

Stay safe!

How to not get kicked out of a library

Good evening!

I've been gorging myself on blogs all evening long (what better way to procrastinate?), and I've seen the idea of libraries as safe havens mentioned a number of times. I work at my local library as a lowly shelver, and I deal with all sorts of patrons on a daily basis. The general expectation regarding patrons is rather low, and the vast majority of people I interact with are:

• Drunk/drugged/slightly deranged
  
• Homeless
• Speaking in tongues
• Extremely irate when not immediately understood
• Likely be kicked out for using the computers to look at porn

Given the dismal standards listed above, you might be wondering whether it's possible to be evicted from a library at all - and I assure you, it is. I assume most of this stuff is fairly standard across the States, and these are good rules to live by when trying to get the best out of your library refuge:

1. Never appear irate: appearing upset or "dangerous" will get you kicked out faster than almost anything else in this list.
2. If you're going to sleep, do so behind a forlorn stack rather than in the middle of the lounge.
3. For the love of God, don't use the computers for porn. I'm assuming most of you have too much on your minds to waste time watching nudie flicks, but still ... I have to mention this. It's so awkward when you're spotted, man, and someone has to reprimand you ... and you might have a little trouble walking (you know what I'm talking about), and the entire area is staring straight at you. ("What's this??" I hear you ask incredulously! "Surely you haven't had to either find security or deal with a loathsome man awkwardly fondling himself in front of you? You jest, Madame!" I assure you, I do not. I could rant about this one for hours.)
4. Don't be a creeper. This includes, but is not limited, to the following: a.) Don't stare avidly at little girls and boys, people take notice; b.) Don't expose yourself to the big girls/guys - again, people notice *shudder*; c.) Be aware of the social "bubble" - don't infringe upon someone's personal space; and d.) Appropriate topics are key: Your penis and/or vagina? Not appropriate topics.
   
5. Be quiet and smile pretty when security walks by. You'll be fine.
   

Honestly, I recommend finding a quiet corner and just holing up there - it's likely that no one will even bother you. Also, don't yell at shelvers. We have feelings, too. :(

Hmm, well this is a fairly pointless post. I'm publishing it anyway, of course, because it took me a bit to type up and I'm fairly lazy. Also, about the titles (Sage, Oracle, Keeper, etc)? Should I call you by title or by name (because both is just far too much typing ;))?

I hope everyone's safe and happy!